i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
