We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
