ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
