I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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