you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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