every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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