I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
