You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
