walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
