Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
