Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
