I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
