new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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