gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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