Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
