i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
