She even gives head with a lisp.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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