i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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