so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize