God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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