Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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