Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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