i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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