i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
