I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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