just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
