And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
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get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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