I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
