She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
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No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
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Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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