next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
soo... how was my night?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
