we have officially lost it.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
