Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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