She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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