my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
