she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
