To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
