Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
