Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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