So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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