it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
