im six kinds of drunk right now
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize