god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
