Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
