Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
