the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
