I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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