White coat. Heels.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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