White coat. Heels.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
