OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
