If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
