the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
