I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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