i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize