I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you win again, gameday.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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