The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
