That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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