i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I think people are normalizing furries
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
