just tell him i said nine months
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
